Can Suicide Be Accidental?
A friend died a few weeks ago – first report made it sound like she took her own life and I didn’t know why. The reason someone takes their own life is because of the loss of something, usually problems with financial, relationship or health matters. If things go wrong in one area but the others are okay, adjustments can be made to deal with the situation. When two areas are in trouble it becomes harder but not impossible to get things back on track. If all areas go bad it is very hard to recover. Having something to believe in can give you an inner strength and may help you survive.
I have had difficult times during the past 50 years. I met with a counselor when things became difficult in my marriage. First, I started writing in a diary trying to figure it all out on my own. I wrote for about six months and then stopped because we worked through our differences, or so I thought. In reality we just chose to ignore them. It was not long before I went back to writing and my words start with, “same old, same old – still going on; up again, down again…” That is when I called the counselor for help. She told me a diary was a poor man’s counselor and I would find an understanding and a solution in my own writing.
I never, ever considered taking my own life. I had options. When I was 25 I found myself pregnant about the same time my husband found an interest in a pretty young blond in his office named Patty. My pregnancy was planned. We had been married for five years; he had just finished college and started a new job. Life was good until it wasn’t.
That experience changed my life. I decided I would never again be in a position where I could not support myself. We worked through this interruption and actually stayed married for 26 years. I had my baby and then enrolled in our local community college. I obtained my BSBA degree while pregnant with my second child. I passed all four parts of the CPA exam at the age of 35.
My advice to everyone is never depend on someone else for your full financial support so you can have options when you find life gets out of control. Take steps to get an education or skill in an area that you love and spend less money than you earn. If you do, you will be closer to having strength to deal with the tough times in all four areas of your life: personal, financial, health and spiritual.
I recently learned my friend lost her ability to control her problems with alcohol. Her family tried to find help for her but she was not ready. The day before her death she had fallen and hit her head but would not go for help. She may have continued drinking, may have even taken a few pain pills. Did she commit suicide? The word sui means “of itself” and cide means “killing”. With that definition then Yes she did but it may not have been intentional. Her death was caused by choices she made or didn’t make. I Pray she is now at peace.